September 15, 2010
Ever get the feeling?
I probably shouldn't be writing this for the world to see but with the way I'm feeling I need to get things out before I explode. Since the semester has began I feel more angry and have been very irritable. I'm sure it's due to my hefty plate: school, work, internship, wedding... it's a lot to deal with and I was thinking of doing dance too! SMH! Lately though, after getting feedback from professors and my editor I have been feeling inadequate as a writer. As if I'm not really cut out for this journalism thing. Last year I was great, my articles were good and I got commended by my professors. But after one summer I suck ass...I'm just emotional in general it seems.
I think it boils down to me not being happy with how my life is going right now...things are up in the air and I have no control. I feel as though I'm not being listened to or as if what i say has no meaning to people. Some people can act as if things I ask of them is too much or unimportant to them. I guess...I'm starting to really think it's a "ME" problem. There has to be something wrong with me. I can't imagine that's it's everyone else around me causing me distress but I don't know what the problem is. I took a screening test last nigh online and it said I have symptoms of general anxiety disorder which explains a lot but how do I fix that? How can I fix my brain?
I always thought that the life I had only made me a stronger person but it seems that it made me mentally ill. I have been through so much and no matter how much I say it didn't effect me it must have and I HATE that it did. Maybe that's why I'm so angry, hell if I know.
If anyone reads this, thanks. If anyone comments, thanks.