February 27, 2010
I find that the question "What if?" comes many times in our lives. "What if I never met this person?" or "What if I chose to do this differently?" I can admit I've had my fair share of "What If's" My life has been a road of poorly thought out decisions and I always wonder "What if?" At 23 I'm making much better ones, I just wish I had a reality check a long time ago. It's tough living with some of the decisions I've made and I can't help but think:
What if I had spoken up? Ran away screaming?
What if I had waited? Was it really that hard?
What if I didn't go with her that night?
What if I told him no?
What if I stayed?
What if I listened?
I have many things that I regret doing and not doing, things that hurt others and myself. I always say I wish I had a time machine but who knows, it probably would be like the Butterfly Effect with Ashton Kutcher, nothing would be as it should and I would always get the short end of the stick. Life is compiled of so many experiences both good and bad. I've had some terrible ones and I pray to God that there's only good ones ahead.
February 9, 2010
With V-day a mere five days away I felt it only right to write about the subject of LOVE. Now I won’t say I’m an expert but I’ve had my fair share of relationships, hook-ups, and “friends” so I know a little. I’m not here to bash love or rub it in the single peoples face. I just want to open a discussion.
When it comes to love many people don’t seem to differentiate between loving someone and being in love with someone. In my opinion, and I think many will agree, that these are two very different things. Let me elaborate.
To “love” someone:
This means that you care for someone very much and wouldn’t want to see or do anything to hurt them. You will be there for that person in their times of need, you will go out of your way for this person, you genuinely want to be a part of their life and have them be a part of yours. This is a person you keep in the know about your life goings-ons and are excited to tell them or hear about theirs. You may call or see this person on a regular basis and spend many hours in their presence. You can love friends, family, and beaus.
To be “in love” with someone:
This has all the things of loving someone but there are some major additions. Being in love is wanting to live, eat, and breathe this person everyday for the rest of eternity. You can’t see your life without this person. Now don’t confuse being afraid of being alone with afraid of losing this person, that’s not what I mean. This person is the only person you could ever hope to spend the rest of your life with. There’s no “I love you, BUT…” when it comes to this person. This is the person you will lay your life down for, the one you’d take a bullet for. This person makes you feel whole. You love EVERYTHING about this person: how they look, talk, dress, smell, smile, think, dance, sing (even if it’s bad!), and even their quirks. Being in love with someone is having your senses overtaken by this person. Every time you think, eat, breath, smell, talk, etc. that person is on your mind. You find yourself wondering what can you do or say to make this person’s day. You never want to see this person hurt or upset and if it’s your fault you make sure you fix it immediately, because when their hurt your hurt because their heart is your heart. And don’t forget they may not always be what you wanted but they’re exactly what you needed!
See how different the two really are? Like I said before they have their similarities but the differences are HUGE. So the next time you find yourself in a serious relationship or even if you’re in one now, ask yourself these questions really decide whether you love the one you’re with or are you in love with them. Hey you two may be at the same level which is great but trouble comes when one is “in love” and one just “loves” so be careful with how you handle someones heart. Because you never want to be on the other end, it’s painful.
Happy Early Valentine’s Day!
February 2, 2010
I felt the need to write, so I won't deny myself the pleasure! I have been a pretty busy DIY bride lately. Sometimes I get bit by the creativity bug and there's no stopping me! I've made boutonnieres, bouquets, a rose-ball, hairpiece, tote bags, and ring pillow. I know our wedding is far (almost a year)but I can't help being excited. I blame part of it on the fact that I'm not working or hanging out with "friends", a word I'm using loosely these days. All this free time is causing me to find other outlets for my energy (not forgetting school work of course). I realized that when I need people they're no where to be found. I'm left hearing about club outings, movies, etc. without a mention of trying to call and invite me. I was upset at first, if we're "friends" why not invite me at the very least? But after I talked to my mom she made me take a step back and really see the bigger picture. God may have given me this time to get ahead in my wedding plans, focus on school, Him, and my fiancee. My mom even said that I was her BFF which was good to hear. I have made it a point to not worry about what I can't control and to live my life with God in it, as well as love and those who truly want to be a part of it. As I said in a recent facebook status, "[I'm]learning that God is the best friend I can have! He's there whenever I need him, I can talk to him when no one else can/will, He's always in my corner no matter what I say or do...who could ask for a better friend? I can't!" This is something I can look to when I'm upset and no one answers their phone or is available to talk or too busy. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I don't need or want friends but I'm not stressing over what they are/ are not including me in. People will do what they want, with who they want, point blank. I'm more focused on my life and what God has blessed me with, love, time, experience, creativity, and life. I think this is all for now...be blessed and highly favored.