January 3, 2012

A poem that's a bit serious

I wrote this poem because it was on my heart and mind for a few days and I finally had the courage to write it. I'm nervous to put it on here but I didn't write it to hide it. Now it is a bit powerful and it is on a touchy subject but I think it was something I needed to write. Also this is based on an experience in my life, for those who don't know I was taken advantage of as a child and in the end nothing was done and in 2010 I finally let it go and forgave my abuser.

By Lyanna R. Moore

Sweet innocence,
unaware of the dangers,
that laid wait in her home.
A familiar face,
one that should have gave love,
protection from all that is wrong.
Not the offender,
causing nights of  “false dreams”
wondering “Why me?”
Not yet a teen,
no longer a child,
stuck in between.
Nowhere to run,
darkness your cover,
cocaine your pusher,
my innocence stolen,
made to suffer,
I knew it wasn’t forever,
I knew womanhood was around the corner,
but that wasn’t your place,
no that belonged with my mother.
Not me.
Silent tears to her ignorance,
Wishing she could read my thoughts,
hear my quiet screams that rage inside me.
Scared beyond belief,
no retreat,
my heart skips a beat,
hearing your footsteps approaching me.
It sickens me.
My hands in a place foreign to me,
shoved into my existence,
My body plays possum,
waiting for it to end,
thinking of how to escape,
run away,
 be free,
but I think of those two small faces,
babies blind to what their father has done.
They need me,
my protection,
my strength.
I survived,
for them,
for me.

New Year, new me

I'm ready for change. I have a few goals set that I want to commit to not only this year but every year forward.

1. I want to focus on my marriage.
2. I want to focus on God and my studies in Layman's Bible School.
3. I want to be more confident in my work (both writing and photography).
4. I want to work in a place that appreciates my hardwork and doesn't take advantage of me.
5. I want to spend more time enjoying life and the people that make me the happiest.

For this year and moving forward I'm challenging myself to not be negative but have an open mind with open understanding and love. It takes too much to be angry or resentful to others. I rather make the most of my time being there for others and being a blessing.