Life Changes

So this year is becoming one of GREAT OPPORTUNITIES!
 My husband is doing more comic work which he loves and I'm starting my Artprize project! I'm so excited! God is showing me some high favor for sure. I am learning a lot about other religions and about myself. I'm learning more about why I'm doing this project too. This is about inter-faith respect. Why can't we respect and love one another when it's a basic fundamental part of all religion? That's what I want to show, commonality among religions. I'm letting God guide me and show me what He wants me to see because this was His idea I'm just a vessel.
I'm also excited to announce that me and the hubby are trying to become parents! I'm overjoyed to start this step in our lives together. I know some may tell us to wait but what I don't get is why? What is it we're missing? We want to share our love with a little version of us. I always hear how much of a blessing a child is but the same people say wait because it changes everything. But isn't that what we want? Life changes that cause us to grow and become new. To experience more. I can't do that if I'm waiting. People who wait for everything end up doing nothing. I'm not just going to say what I want I'm going to do it.

 Faith without action is nothing. I'm ready.

A poem that's a bit serious

I wrote this poem because it was on my heart and mind for a few days and I finally had the courage to write it. I'm nervous to put it on here but I didn't write it to hide it. Now it is a bit powerful and it is on a touchy subject but I think it was something I needed to write. Also this is based on an experience in my life, for those who don't know I was taken advantage of as a child and in the end nothing was done and in 2010 I finally let it go and forgave my abuser.

Untitled

By Lyanna R. Moore

Sweet innocence,

unaware of the dangers,

that laid wait in her home.

A familiar face,

one that should have gave love,

protection from all that is wrong.

Not the offender,

causing nights of  “false dreams”

wondering “Why me?”

Not yet a teen,

no longer a child,

stuck in between.

Nowhere to run,

darkness your cover,

cocaine your pusher,

my innocence stolen,

made to suffer,

I knew it wasn’t forever,

I knew womanhood was around the corner,

but that wasn’t your place,

no that belonged with my mother.

Not me.

Silent tears to her ignorance,

Wishing she could read my thoughts,

hear my quiet screams that rage inside me.

Scared beyond belief,

no retreat,

my heart skips a beat,

hearing your footsteps approaching me.

It sickens me.

My hands in a place foreign to me,

shoved into my existence,

My body plays possum,

waiting for it to end,

thinking of how to escape,

run away,

 be free,

but I think of those two small faces,

babies blind to what their father has done.

They need me,

my protection,

my strength.

I survived,

for them,

for me.

New Year, new me

I'm ready for change. I have a few goals set that I want to commit to not only this year but every year forward.

1. I want to focus on my marriage.
2. I want to focus on God and my studies in Layman's Bible School.
3. I want to be more confident in my work (both writing and photography).
4. I want to work in a place that appreciates my hardwork and doesn't take advantage of me.
5. I want to spend more time enjoying life and the people that make me the happiest.

For this year and moving forward I'm challenging myself to not be negative but have an open mind with open understanding and love. It takes too much to be angry or resentful to others. I rather make the most of my time being there for others and being a blessing.

Ideas

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my job and the experiences I've had and I'm thinking about writing a book about it. There are a lot of people that have had experiences in retail and customer service that are truly memorable or things that employees want to say but can't. I think it can be a good read and hopefully I get people to help out which shouldn't be a problem.

Wake me up when September Ends

Busy. That's the word that describes my life at the moment. I feel like my summer was overrun and filled with stuff I didn't want to do. Work has begun to swallow my life because I can't say "No" without feeling guilty. There's a whopping staff of 3 and the past week and a half my assistant manager has been out on a bruised toe injury that she did at work (which could have been prevented VERY easily). So I had to pick up her hours while we borrowed a few girls from another store plus work in my new position as the MSR (Maternity Sales Representative) at our leased location in Macy's. My husband had last week off and I barely saw him! Then this week my boss went on vacation which in my opinion wasn't the best move with an injured employee and one part-timer. So our store is left to the borrowed help who only give 50% because it's not their store. I'll be glad when things go back to normal and I'm not so stressful.
I'm also making a big step and becoming a Big Sister for the organization Big Brothers Big Sisters. I feel that will help with this calling to help children. It's something that has always been in my heart to do. Since I was 12 I knew I wanted to adopt a child when I was older and I even thought about going into social work but decided to go a more creative route. I just know that I can made a difference in a child's life and this is a great stepping stone for me. I had my interview last Thursday and was told in a couple weeks I will be able to choose my Little. I'm really excited about that and I look forward to this new experience.
I also decided to enroll in Layman's Bible School at my church. That starts next Monday and it's the next step in growing my relationship with God. Many people that I've told about it are asking me if I wan to become a minster and honestly I have no idea! Haha! Maybe this means that I may one day be a youth minster. I can only start the journey and let my path unfold before me only God knows what may come next and I'm just along for the ride.

New Directions

So I have been doing a lot of prayer and spending time with God. I'm really trying to see what I should be doing with my life. It has been on my heart to work with children so I've decided to be a Big Sister and be a voluenteer and get my foot in the door to do what's in my heart to do. I'm looking forward to it. I'm trying to take the right steps and hopefully they will lead to bigger changes in my life that I hope will be for the better.

A poem I wrote at work

I wrote this while I was at my retail job at the mall. I had no customers for 3 hours and I had a realization about my summer...that I hadn't had a lot of chances to enjoy it with my husband or friends and it got me to thinking about my summers as a teenager where they were truly care-free. So this is what I came up with.

Summer Young

I remember a time,

when summers were for adventures,

imagination and best friends,

ice cream and fast food,

bike rides and barbeques.

When the beach and amusement parks were a must do,

and nothing was better than having fun and enjoying youth.

Now summer is just another season,

working and cleaning,

bills and money,

late nights and sleepy eyes.

Memories of summer young,

when fun was an necessity,

instead of out of reach.

Being older is overrated.

Doing something “just to get by”

sucking away creativity and life,

until the day you can break free and truly be happy.