July 23, 2012

For me to be a "writer" I sure do suck at this writing thing. Since my last post a lot of things have happened. The convention went very well and we had a great time and Dimitris got a lot of good exposure. We are in fact pregnant (conceived around Mother's Day) and expecting our first born January 28, 2013. We're happy about it but in the back of my mind I sometimes catch the fear of "what the heck are we doing?" lingering but I have to remind myself that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Right now we are not where we wanted to be financially and I'm not too happy about it but God will make a way out of no way.

Dimitris did apply for a job out of state so it will be a blessing if he gets it but also a major change for us and our families. Recently I've been really frustrated with how things are going and I believe it's connected to our time spent in church which has been basically none, between Dimitriis working, me working or serving in the church or going out of town I don't think we've sat and attended service for over a month and we are feeling it...things aren't in place as they should because we aren't giving the right time to God as we should. I've stop doing my devotionals, reading His word and in turn let the devil slip in and do his work...so I need to get back on track with that and hopefully things will change for the better...

As for my project it's changed into a simpler idea but when you're on other people's time it put's you in a bind so I'm at the point of deciding if I should still be doing a project of if I should cancel it and hold off for a year or two. It sucks but the reality is it's nearing the end of July and I've been doing this project since March/April and the project should be done by September 1st (ideally since the show starts September 19). People I thought were "friends" and willing to give me just 5 minutes of their time are letting me down drastically and it hurts, annoys and frustrates me to no end. I'm left with a decision that I didn't think I would have to make because people always sound so supportive of me but when it comes to actually showing it I get nothing...makes you reevaluate the relationships in your life.

Work is increasing becoming a struggle which is a whole other battle I'm dealing with because I have to work two jobs to get enough money to help pay bills or do anything else...just tired of everything right now and how they're going.

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