June 27, 2011

Ever wonder...is this it?

Today i woke up and I didn't feel right. I just wasn't in the mood for anything today...then I got an Unknown phone call from a bill collector and it made my day 10 times worse. I got accused of lying, making excuses, etc when I never got a statement from the start and they refused to send another so end result was me pissed and them with a set payment date..bill collectors 1 me 0. It just got me really upset and I broke down in tears because I was so frustrated and upset. I don't like things to go to collections and I've been working my butt off to get my debt under control but as the saying goes one step forward and two steps back. It really got me thinking about my life and the mistakes that I've made, especially the big ones and I wished there was a reset button so I could start over and begin anew knowing what I know now. But unfortunately I can't and I have to live with my poor choices.
Going to work was the last hing I wanted to do but I did it but it was tough but I made it through. While working a thought occurred to me...I've let my spirit get weak and the Devil got in and stole my joy. I'm not enjoying my life or the people in it as I should. When I'm not working I'm not  doing anything which sucks when I think about it. I need to work on my relationship with God and do things that make me happy so that I can enjoy life which can end at anytime. I just don't know where to start...who should I talk to? What should I do? How can I stick to it?

These are some things I have to meditate on and work out.

I just hope there will be more to my life than this. Working, sleeping, working and doing it all unhappily. I just think I should be doing more.

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