Life Happens

So, hello internet and whoever comes across this blog, I haven't posted here in 2.5 years! A lot has happened since that last blog post. My life has changed drastically. So here's the short version: Dimitris and I had a baby girl, Olivia Renay, on January 30, 2013. We just celebrated her 2nd birthday! She's been the light of our lives and we are so proud to be her parents. I decided to become a stay at home mom and breastfed her until she was 20 months old. (you don't know the battle of breastfeeding until your in it but I was victorious!) Dimitris didn't get that out of town job but did start working for the Postal Service last August. It pays the bills. 

What have I been doing? Well being a mother and wife. I've tried to add income where I could; making loc jewelry, crocheting, photography. Nothing really is panning out. I did get the chance to do a seasonal job as a school photographer this past fall and it was great. All I had to do was go take pictures...not sell them. It was fantastic. I met some cool people too!

I've also gotten back into writing poetry. A friend started a monthly open mic night and wrangled me in. But the odd thing is...poems just started flowing and it's awesome to get back into it. I didn't realized I missed it until it was gone!

So from now on I will be sharing more experiences
and more writing and more everything. I'm still trying to find my place so bear with me...

For me to be a "writer" I sure do suck at this writing thing. Since my last post a lot of things have happened. The convention went very well and we had a great time and Dimitris got a lot of good exposure. We are in fact pregnant (conceived around Mother's Day) and expecting our first born January 28, 2013. We're happy about it but in the back of my mind I sometimes catch the fear of "what the heck are we doing?" lingering but I have to remind myself that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Right now we are not where we wanted to be financially and I'm not too happy about it but God will make a way out of no way.

Dimitris did apply for a job out of state so it will be a blessing if he gets it but also a major change for us and our families. Recently I've been really frustrated with how things are going and I believe it's connected to our time spent in church which has been basically none, between Dimitriis working, me working or serving in the church or going out of town I don't think we've sat and attended service for over a month and we are feeling it...things aren't in place as they should because we aren't giving the right time to God as we should. I've stop doing my devotionals, reading His word and in turn let the devil slip in and do his work...so I need to get back on track with that and hopefully things will change for the better...

As for my project it's changed into a simpler idea but when you're on other people's time it put's you in a bind so I'm at the point of deciding if I should still be doing a project of if I should cancel it and hold off for a year or two. It sucks but the reality is it's nearing the end of July and I've been doing this project since March/April and the project should be done by September 1st (ideally since the show starts September 19). People I thought were "friends" and willing to give me just 5 minutes of their time are letting me down drastically and it hurts, annoys and frustrates me to no end. I'm left with a decision that I didn't think I would have to make because people always sound so supportive of me but when it comes to actually showing it I get nothing...makes you reevaluate the relationships in your life.

Work is increasing becoming a struggle which is a whole other battle I'm dealing with because I have to work two jobs to get enough money to help pay bills or do anything else...just tired of everything right now and how they're going.

Year of change and GREAT opportunities!

So I haven't blogged in a while but there has been some exciting things going on! First I have a new job at Pier 1 Imports, part-time but it's great! Also, my hubby and I are going to Chicago this weekend for C2E2! He has gotten the opportunity to share a table with someone and showcase some work at his first convention! So proud of him! I also got my locs this past Saturday (April 7, 2012)! I'm very excited about this next step in my natural hair journey! I've gotten nothing but compliments and encouraging words from my family and friends. I'm also working hard on my project for ArtPrize I just have to get in contact with a few more places. (I've been getting the run around but I will get it done!) I'm just really happy right now. We weren't pregnant this last cycle so we went the trying but not trying route this time and we'll see how it plays out. I just try not to stress because it will happen in God's time! Anywho just wanted to update this blog of mine and just keep whoever checks this out in the loop.

Life Changes

So this year is becoming one of GREAT OPPORTUNITIES!
 My husband is doing more comic work which he loves and I'm starting my Artprize project! I'm so excited! God is showing me some high favor for sure. I am learning a lot about other religions and about myself. I'm learning more about why I'm doing this project too. This is about inter-faith respect. Why can't we respect and love one another when it's a basic fundamental part of all religion? That's what I want to show, commonality among religions. I'm letting God guide me and show me what He wants me to see because this was His idea I'm just a vessel.
I'm also excited to announce that me and the hubby are trying to become parents! I'm overjoyed to start this step in our lives together. I know some may tell us to wait but what I don't get is why? What is it we're missing? We want to share our love with a little version of us. I always hear how much of a blessing a child is but the same people say wait because it changes everything. But isn't that what we want? Life changes that cause us to grow and become new. To experience more. I can't do that if I'm waiting. People who wait for everything end up doing nothing. I'm not just going to say what I want I'm going to do it.

 Faith without action is nothing. I'm ready.

A poem that's a bit serious

I wrote this poem because it was on my heart and mind for a few days and I finally had the courage to write it. I'm nervous to put it on here but I didn't write it to hide it. Now it is a bit powerful and it is on a touchy subject but I think it was something I needed to write. Also this is based on an experience in my life, for those who don't know I was taken advantage of as a child and in the end nothing was done and in 2010 I finally let it go and forgave my abuser.

Untitled

By Lyanna R. Moore

Sweet innocence,

unaware of the dangers,

that laid wait in her home.

A familiar face,

one that should have gave love,

protection from all that is wrong.

Not the offender,

causing nights of  “false dreams”

wondering “Why me?”

Not yet a teen,

no longer a child,

stuck in between.

Nowhere to run,

darkness your cover,

cocaine your pusher,

my innocence stolen,

made to suffer,

I knew it wasn’t forever,

I knew womanhood was around the corner,

but that wasn’t your place,

no that belonged with my mother.

Not me.

Silent tears to her ignorance,

Wishing she could read my thoughts,

hear my quiet screams that rage inside me.

Scared beyond belief,

no retreat,

my heart skips a beat,

hearing your footsteps approaching me.

It sickens me.

My hands in a place foreign to me,

shoved into my existence,

My body plays possum,

waiting for it to end,

thinking of how to escape,

run away,

 be free,

but I think of those two small faces,

babies blind to what their father has done.

They need me,

my protection,

my strength.

I survived,

for them,

for me.

New Year, new me

I'm ready for change. I have a few goals set that I want to commit to not only this year but every year forward.

1. I want to focus on my marriage.
2. I want to focus on God and my studies in Layman's Bible School.
3. I want to be more confident in my work (both writing and photography).
4. I want to work in a place that appreciates my hardwork and doesn't take advantage of me.
5. I want to spend more time enjoying life and the people that make me the happiest.

For this year and moving forward I'm challenging myself to not be negative but have an open mind with open understanding and love. It takes too much to be angry or resentful to others. I rather make the most of my time being there for others and being a blessing.

Ideas

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my job and the experiences I've had and I'm thinking about writing a book about it. There are a lot of people that have had experiences in retail and customer service that are truly memorable or things that employees want to say but can't. I think it can be a good read and hopefully I get people to help out which shouldn't be a problem.